iHate

Baboons...

2009-01-10T23:06:00.002-05:00

I really hate baboons. It's not just that they happen to be one of the ugliest monkeys in existence, they're evil. You can see it in their eyes. Did you know that if you live in Africa you have to worry about Baboons coming into your shack and eating your baby? Yes, it's true. According to one news articel I looked up as proof, "A young mother this week watched helplessly as a baboon snatched and ripped open the skull of her only child and ate his brain."
I decided to do a little research on baboons to see what the experts say. According to National Geographic, Baboons are opportunistic eaters and, fond of crops, become destructive pests to many African farmers. They eat fruits, grasses, seeds, bark, and roots, but also have a taste for meat(a.k.a. babies). They eat birds, rodents, and even the young of larger mammals, such as antelopes and sheep (and don't forget humans)
I mean really! Is there anyone in the whole world who likes baboons? I have no problem with people who like lions, and tigers, and bears (oh my!) who would gladly eat our young because that's what they're supposed to do! AND I've never heard of any of those animals sneaking into someones house and eating theirs baby's brains. That's just sick, even for an animal.

Public nose pickers...

2008-10-27T11:45:00.000-04:00

Do they really think we can't see them? The worst is when you see someone sitting at a red light, diggin' away like there's no tomorrow and when they finally get what they want, they thoroughly inspect it. Whatever happened to using a tissue? These days tissues seem to be an endangered species. I think we should team together and start a save the tissues champagne. I'm just saying...use a tissue and I won't care as much.

Foot fetishes...

2008-10-26T10:56:00.002-04:00

As a tribute to a dear friend of mine who hates feet all together (Hi Steph!) I'd like to share my hate of foot fetishes. I once knew a girl who had an incredibly grotesque foot fetish. In a game of truth or dare she only picked foot related dares. For example, she wanted me to kiss someones foot, and she wanted another girl to massage someones feet. We all refused to play into her twisted game and went swimming instead.
I just don't understand foot fetishes. Why? When you have so many weird fetishes to pick from, why would you go with feet? Feet can be nasty, crusty, dirty, smelly, hairy, misshapen, and a number of other unpleasant things. How does someone become obsessed with feet anyway? Are they born with the obsession or does it come about one day when they realize feet are everywhere? I don't know...foot fetishes are just plain weird.

Parents who live in denial...

2008-10-24T09:38:00.003-04:00

Have you ever met that kid that can do no wrong in it's parents eyes? I know a ton of them! These children are evil's elite. They get away with EVERYTHING! The parents of these little demons will usually jump to point fingers at everyone else's kids. However, you could have video of their kid killing someone and they'll still find a way to blame it on someone else. It's never their kids fault. When I was little I knew some of these kids. I eventually stopped playing with them because everything they didn't got blamed on me. Now that I have a six year old brother I see them all over the place again. It's really not the kids that make me so mad though. If I saw a kid do something bad and then get corrected for it I would have no problem. I get mad when the kids can do what ever they want. I going to start walking around with a video camera so I can catch these kids in action and then put the videos on youtube for everyone to see. I hate kids, but I hate their parents more.

Coming soon...kids! (that one should be exciting!)

Miley Cyrus...

2008-10-23T06:28:00.000-04:00

I have a lot to say when it comes to Miley Cyrus. So much so, that I can't actually get my thoughts organized and together enough to write about her. I have tried to write this post many times, but it always ends up the same. A big jumble of senseless hate. I try to keep this blog PG-13 with what I say, and so, I am unable to write a real post about Miley because of what I truly think of her. Just looking at her and her fake teeth makes me sick. However, I have a little scenario to help everyone understand how I feel about her. Ready?
Alright, I'm about to be murdered and it won't be pretty. The killer has threaten to slowly saw my limbs off with a dull blade. However, I do have a chance to live. I have to make a decision. Live with John Mayer for two weeks or spend a day with Miley Cyrus. I pick John. I'd live with him for a month if I had to! Clear enough? If not, read my post on John Mayer. I can't stand him.

The one upper...

2008-10-22T06:00:00.002-04:00

It's okay, we don't have to mention any names here. I know you know one. Take a minuet to think about how mad your one upper makes you. If you don't know a one upper I'm really sorry, because that means you are the one upper. I have a one upper, and though I'm not mentioning names here, I will has it's a he. My one upper will use whatever he can to one up you. If he can't one up you with something he did, he won't hesitate to bring someone he knows into in. Like his mom or a friend for example. Don't get me wrong, like most one uppers, he stretches the truth. However, if the subject is just too unrealistic for him to have accomplished he'll bring someone else into it. He just can't take someone being better at something, so he figures if he can at least be associated with someone who's better he can get through another day. Now, I don't want to completely trash my one upper, so lets move on to a more general one upper. A one upper is a person who responds to hearing someone else's experience or problem by immediately telling a similar story about themselves with a much more fantastic or horrible outcome. Here are a couple perfect examples of a one upper I found:

Person: I got to meet James Hetfield before the concert and I got his autograph.
One Upper: Yeah, well my cousin knows the head of security for Metallica, and he got us front row tickets to the show and then we went backstage and met the whole group. Then they invited us back to their hotel room and we partied with them all night.

Person: I have a a dislocated knee.
One Upper: Yeah, well last summer I broke my leg in four places and had to have a steel pin inserted. I also had to have surgery done on my knee to repair the torn ligaments. I was on crutches for almost two months.

Yes, it's sad. I think one upping should be classified as a disease. Isn't there some kind of medication one uppers can take? Maybe we should have a sort of rehabilitation center where one uppers can become normal people.

My favorite example of a one upper is Penelope. A character Kristen Wigg plays on SNL. I tried to find one specific skit she did, but I couldn't so, this one will have to do.

Big mouth lady...

2008-10-21T06:00:00.000-04:00

Big mouth lady. There's no way to describe her without being offensive, so I'll do my best, and I won't mention her real name. We call her big mouth lady. She's that woman you just want to smack up-side the head. So you can fully appreciate the experience of sitting through my painful biology class, I will give you a few scenarios. Everyone (or almost everyone) is sitting in their seats. Dr. La Belle is now fifteen minuets into his dreadfully boring, horribly dry lecture, when she enters. Bi g mouth lady herself, her humongous bag on wheels right behind her. She's not satisfied with just walking in, no, not big mouth lady. She has to announce, "I'm here!". As if we didn't all already notice. Now, keep in mind that not only does our syllabus tell us we aren't allowed to have food or drink in the lab at any time, we were all informed this on the first day of class as well. Big mouth lady disrupts everything as she makes her way to her seat. However, it would be out of character for her to just sit down. No, she has to stand there taking out all her books, a can of nasty looking protein shake, a bottle of soda, and finally, a cup of ice.
She finally gets seated and we think we all think we're going to be able to get through the lecture without any more interruptions, but no. Not while big mouth lady is around. Now the questions start flying. Our professor could have just spent twenty minuets over explaining a self explanatory chart, and she will still have questions. As if it weren't bad enough, she sits there rubbing and squeezing an all too willing boy's back and arms, who is at least twenty years younger than her! I'd go on about her ensembles, but I don't want to scare anyone. She's one of those older women, trying to act nineteen.
Oh big mouth lady, if you only knew the impact you have on our young minds.

Cats...

2008-10-20T06:30:00.002-04:00

Ok, so I admit I grew quite fond of my brother's mangy cat that he found half dead near an old abandon warehouse. However, he's an exception. All other cats are just dumb and should be sent to France. People always ask me why I hate cats. It's really quite simple. Are there any reasons to like cats anyway? Let's go over a few reasons to hate cats. I'll say now that there are a few exceptions, so don't email me telling me how great you're cat is.
One: they make your house stink. You can't get the smell of cat pee out of anything!
Two: their big claws! Cats scratch you whenever they get the chance.
Three: once they're full grown, they won't play with you. You can try, but they just sit there giving you evil looks.
Four: they kill babies! They'll try to kill you too, but they usually don't succeed.
Five: They won't ever try to save you! They only care about themselves. Why have a cat when you can have a dog?
Six: they try to make you feel stupid. They seriously think they're smarter than anything else!

UPDATE: Today (yes, one day after I posted this) my brothers cat attacked me!

Beets...

2008-10-19T16:10:00.002-04:00

Why would anyone want to eat a beet? Not only do they smell like dirt, they taste like it as well! Beets aren't satisfied with smelling and tasting gross though, they have to be ugly too. All red, and bloody, and nasty. And as if they weren't bad enough as just plain old beets, some idiot came along and decided he wanted to be adventurous. And that my friend, is how the pickled beet came about. I think we should ban beets. Along with celery, sauerkraut, squash, and black licorice.

Blood...

2008-10-14T11:09:00.005-04:00

Gosh! It's been too long since my last post! I've been so busy I haven't had the chance to write anything other than papers and summaries. I;m actually writing from the school library. I had to sneak on a computer because no one will give me a new access code to sign in. Fortunately for me the library truin officer wasn't around. ANYWAY...I'm giving blood today. It's 11:13 and my appointment isn't until 1:30 *sigh* I don't think this was such a well thought out plan because I hate blood and needles.

BLOOD! I know, chills just ran up your back. It's not the thought of blood running though my veins that creeps me out. It's the thought of a puddle of blood on the floor, or blood being pumped out of my arm and into a bag. Gah! I'm only making it worse for myself right now. I was talking to a friend who just gave blood like a half an hour ago, and she was reassuring me and telling me it's not that big of a deal. She said it didn't even hurt that bad. THEN, another girl came over and was like, last time I gave blood, the nurse missed twice and it hurt so bad. Doesn't she know you're supposed to lie to people it this kind of situation? I guess not! I think the ultimate blood is Alfred Hitchcock's version. Chocolate syrup. If I walked into a room and saw a puddle of chocolate syrup in the floor, I'd act like I didn't see it so I wouldn't have to clean it up. However, if I walked into a room and saw a puddle of blood on the floor, I'd have to go into instant panic and see who it was coming from before they bled to death!

Giving blood is worth it though, maybe my blood will help save someones life. Then they can worry about it and I won't have to.

Amy Winehouse...

2008-10-09T06:30:00.001-04:00

Amy Winehouse. What can I say? She's a "musician" however, I believe she's actually a professional crack addict disguised as a musician. She's not very good at it though. I don't think anyone believes she's a musician. Does she even sing anyting other than "rehab"? The funny thing about that song is that if she didn't sing it, it would be her theme song anyway! She's had like twenty overdoses, maybe more. She's always drunk, high, and dirty. Seriously, how long before she actually dies because she won't go to rehab?

Kids with bottles...

2008-10-08T10:21:00.004-04:00

I am so sick of seeing three and four year old children drinking out of bottles and sucking on pacifiers! I don't like to see three and four year old children as it is, add a bottle or pacifier and I'm done. Not only is it disgusting, it's bad for the kid. I think the only reason that there are kids walking around with BABY bottles, is because their parents don't want to deal with a screaming kid. Well, at this point you could probably explain that they are too old for a bottle and now it's time to give it up. They aren't babies any more! If your kid is walking, talking, has a bunch of teeth, and is eating solid food, they don't need to be sucking on a bottle! That's not just my opinion. It's the truth. I'll definitely be writing a follow up to this post entitled "Breast feeding eight year olds". Be on the look out, I'll have a video to go with it.

P.S. The kid in the pictures is Suri Cruise who is two and a half. By the way she's still wearing diapers as well. She has all her teeth, she walks and talks, and I'm sure she eats solid food and if you gave her the chance, I'm sure she could crap on the toilet too!

Mosquitoes...

2008-10-05T14:58:00.005-04:00

Last night I was out in a field, when suddenly I was surrounded by mosquitoes. They were everywhere! Seriously, is there a way to just kill them all off? All the cool things like saber tooth tigers and dodo birds are extinct, but we still have mosquitoes around feeding off our blood and spreading west nile virus! I'm so mad that we even have to deal with them. You can use a whole bottle of bug spray, and still manage to get bitten. They die AFTER they leave you all itchy and agitated! I hate mosquitoes, I really do.

Stupid Song Saturday

2008-10-04T06:31:00.003-04:00

Saturday is here again! You know what that means...time for five random, stupid/weird/confusing songs!

1. Fergie "Fergalicious"
Is she serious? Fergalicious?!! What the crap is that supposed to mean? Can I be Hatealicious?

2. Celine Dion "Power of Love"
I know, I know, this is one you your favorites. It's ok, a lot of people like this song, I'm not totally bashing it, but it makes me laugh. I think the best lyrics of the song is, "I hold on to your body" you can tell that's Celine's favorite part too cause she totally gets into it. For the record, I don't have a problem with Celine.

3. Colbie Caillat "Bubbly"
I'm actually not going to say anything about this one just yet because I'm dedicating a whole post to it. I just figured I'd list it anyway though.

4. Lou Rawls "You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine"
This song makes me crack up. It's so gay! It's just the way he sings it...hahaha

5. Hilary Duff "beat of my heart"
Holy Crap! As if they song weren't annoying enough, she has to repeat "to the beat of my heart" like a thousand times.

Spiders...

2008-10-04T06:30:00.001-04:00

I respect and hate spiders at the same time. I mean come on! Even a teeny, tiny, microscopic spider can make me scream! That deserves some serious kudos. Sometimes I have dreams that spiders are all over the place and I just can't get rid of them...I hate spiders

Celery...

2008-10-03T14:41:00.003-04:00

Celery actually makes me mad. I hate it. It's weird. You go to take a bite out of it and there's all these string things Or you've been looking at that pasta salad for a while now, and you decide you're going to go get some. You go to take a bite and *shudders* someone went and ruined it with nasty, crunchy, smelly old celery! Even worse, that soup that smelled so good got all messed up when some idiot decided to stick soggy celery in it. Celery has a weird smell too. I don't know how to explain it, but if you ever smelled it you know. Among other things, I think we should just ban celery in the U.S. it's not really good for anything anyway.

Un-brushed teeth...

2008-10-02T14:44:00.007-04:00

Sorry I haven't posted anything in a few days...I got really sick and schoolwork has been taking me hostage. Which brings me to homework. I hate it. I have tests to study for, and papers to write, but then we have extra assignments because of teachers who drown on for hours about subjects we already understand. So, we have no time left to do the important stuff in class, and are forced to do it at home on top of all our other homework.
Anyway, this post isn't actually about homework, I just got a little carried away there. Today's iHate is people who don't brush their teeth. I happen to know from personal experience that brushing ones teeth really isn't a hard task. Nor does it take a great amount of time or money. So, is it laziness? I just don't get it. It's one thing to forget to brush your teeth one morning before you leave the house, but this is beyond that. I'm talking about the people who walk around with a thick layer of yellow nastiness on their teeth, which has to be noticeable. I can tell if I go one day without brushing, no one is convincing me that these people can't tell they need to go brush. Seriously, there's no way around it, it's just nasty.

Crocs...

2008-09-29T06:30:00.001-04:00

Crocs make me cringe. They remind me of something Snow White's seven dwarfs should be wearing, or an updated, much more comfortable Dutch shoe. When I see people wearing Crocs and they have no socks on, it makes me think of how sweaty and smelly they must be (if you haven't thought it before, you probably will now) and even worse is the wool inserts. I see people wearing the Crocs with inserts and no socks on hot days. That just grosses me out big time. On top of being ridiculous, apparently they're dangerous too. Tons of little kids are losing feet on escalators, and some hospitals are banning them for interfering with important machines. I could care less how comfortable they are, Crocs are on my hate list.

Cigarettes...

2008-09-28T06:30:00.002-04:00

Picture this scenario. It's a beautiful day. The sun is out, the birds are chirping, and you have nothing to do. So, you're out and about, enjoining the fresh air, when all of a sudden, you're enveloped in a cloud of smoke. Is something on fire? You look around to see if anyone needs help only to realize it's just some guy carelessly blowing his cigarette smoke your way. No, you don't smoke, nor do you like the idea of smoking. However, you were just forced to inhale that secondhand smoke that just blew out of the careless guy's nose. I know, I know, now you wish that beautiful daydream would happen to you right now. Because nothing is sexier than smokers cough, and smokers teeth, and their glorious odor. Not to mention that they get to have black lungs too! I'm so jealous! Not! I hate cigarettes and all they entail.

Stupid Song Saturday

2008-09-27T06:31:00.003-04:00

Ok...so, every Saturday (whether anyone reads my blog or not) I'm going to list five, random, repulsive/dumb/ridiculous songs I hate. This will be in additon to my normal iHate. My five random, repulsive/dumb/ridiculous songs for today are:

1. COLOR ME BADD “I Wanna Sex You Up”
Excuse me? You wanna do what? Use that as an ice breaker on a first date and you're sure to get some action *wink*
But seriously, have you heard this song? Not only is it ridiculous, it's horrible. Color Me Badd can't even sing.

2. The Rembrandts "I’ll Be There For You"
Ok, so aside from being totally annoying and making "Friends" even gayer to watch, I'll be there for you wasn't even thought out well. The writer contradicts himself/herself. The first verse says, "So no one told you life was gonna be this way" then the song goes on to say, "Your mother warned you there'd be days like these". I want to say, I myself can't take credit for noticing this because until it was pointed out, I never listened to the whole song. I give the credit to the hilarious Rob Paravonian (who you should check out btw)
All that aside, the song is dumb. Period.

3. Fergie "My Humps"
Do I really have to say anything? --I didn't think so.

4. Hanson "Mmmbop"
Well...this is just weird. More than half of the song is just the same annoying, "MMMbop/ tick a ta ba do ba/dubi da ba do ba/tick a ta ba doo/yeah eh yeah" then "MMMbop/Doo ba/Doo Ba/ Doo/Yeah e Yeah" over and over again. The worst thing abouth this ridiculously annoying hit is that it's Hanson's bigges song. No one can think of Hanson without thinking "Mmmbop"

5. Justin Timberlake "SexyBack"
I hate this song so much, I love it.

Black Licorice...

2008-09-27T06:30:00.001-04:00

NO matter how appealing it may be to some, I hate everything about black licorice. The smell, the taste, even the color. Candy should not be black...black licorice makes me sick. Who really likes black licorice anyway? Old people? Maybe old people like it because they grew up with it. Perhaps they didn't have the benefit of appealing candy and now that they do, it's not worth changing their taste for. Unfortunately, my mother likes black licorice (not that I'm connecting her with being old and liking it). There have to be some people 20 and under who like it though. Right? Regardless, I always hate it.

Is it in you?

2008-09-26T11:52:00.004-04:00

What do you hate? Let me know, perhaps we share the same boiling hatred towards some immensely ridiculous thing. I can write about it.

Clowns...

2008-09-26T06:37:00.002-04:00

Oh gosh, I really hate clowns. Is there anyone who actually likes them? They're generally creepy in every possible way. For me, like most clown haters, I saw "IT" when I was young. I will never have fond feelings towards a clown again. Fortunately for me, I'm not missing anything. However, I've heard that evil clowns need love too. Is there anyone out there willing to send some love their way?

Olive Loaf...

2008-09-25T21:42:00.004-04:00

Ok, so I've never actually tried Olive Loaf, but it doesn't look at all appealing. Apparently, it's bologna embedded with pimento-stuffed green olives *gags* I hate bologna and I hate pimento-stuffed green olives. Therefor, I hate olive loaf. Does anyone out there like olive loaf? I always see it sitting there in the glass case at the deli, staring back at me, ALL creepy and weird. It's always unopened, I don't think anyone is brave enough to buy it. Someone has to like it though right? I don't know...whatever.

John Mayer...

2008-09-25T18:29:00.010-04:00

Sometimes I have no idea why I hate certain things. This is not the case concerning John Mayer.
I am fully aware of all the reasons I hate him.

Reason one: "Daughters" and "Your Body is a Wonderland"
These two wonderful songs are right at the top of my most hated songs list. Let's review some of the lyrics from these two very special songs. "Fathers, be good to your daughters/Daughters will love like you do/Girls become lovers who turn into mothers/So mothers, be good to your daughters too" Translation: please be good parents and don't scar your daughters for life, this way it will be easier for me to sleep with them, and I won't have to deal with any emotional baggage. The basic gist of this beautifully written fake-feminist song is, many girls who were abandon, abused, or neglected by their parents (mainly their fathers) have relationship problems. Especially when it comes to men. Mayer is trying to stop this from happening. Why? Not because he feels bad for those girls, and wants them to experience "normal" family relationships.It's because those girls have issues concerning men and can be harder to sleep with. Mayer doesn't mention that some girls who were abandoned by their fathers seek attention from any male who will pay them any mind. Which can actually become dangerous. He just mentions the girls who want nothing to do with him due to their messed up relationships with their unworthy fathers. You see, John Mayer could give a crap about the girls who will sleep with anyone, because that's what he wants. He cares so much about the well being of your daughters, her forgets to mention the other (more important) half of the issue. Next stop, "Your body is a wonderland". This song pretty much made John Mayer. Who doesn't want to listen to a ridiculous song about sex? "Your Body Is a Wonderland" won Mayer a Grammy for Best Male Pop Vocal performance.I just don't understand why. I'm not saying this song is horrible because it's about sex. In fact, Dylan's "Lay, Lady, Lay", AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long", Def Leppard's "Pour some sugar on me", and many others are about sex, and I have no problem with them. Yes, these songs can be considered ridiculous in their own right. However, none of them mention "Bubble gum tongues" or Breaking all your big plans because of how long you're going to be "Swimming in a deep sea of blankets."

Reason two: His ego.
No matter how many girls and women swoon over him, he will always have one true love. Himself. Read or watch as many interviews of him and it will become quite clear. He might like easy girls and blanket seas, but he'll never love them as much as he loves himself.

Reason three: He has potential, but he could care less.
The really horrible thing about John Mayer is that he isn't really a no talent hack. He's just a feminist, faux-sensitive, pretender, who will do anything to sleep with your daughter and chew on her bubble gum tongue. It's quiet clear he can play guitar pretty good. And some of his more recent songs such as "Waitin’ on the World to Change" and "Dreaming With a Broken Heart" are actually quite good, as much as I hate to admit it. However, in order to become great he needs to drop that insanely huge ego of his and stop writing repulsive songs with ridiculous references.